The ideas presented in this article are based largely on the work of Dr. Thomas Gordon, Founder of Gordon Training International and a significant collaborator with SALE$TECH Solutions.
The single most valuable tool sales people possess is the skill of listening. The goal of listening is to promote understanding. If done well it actually creates a sense of well being in those being listened to. Although most everyone is capable of listening, few develop and leverage this skill to its fullest potential. Listening is the foundation for many of the skills and activities of selling, e.g., strengthening relationships, building trust, learning about and understanding needs, processing objections and handling upset/irate customers. Investment in this skill will improve the quality of your relationships and the quantity of your sales.
Listening, with its incredible utility, is one of the most complicated skills to master. Yet we take it for granted that we are all good listeners. Not so. The complications with listening arise from three distinct, yet interrelated variables:
- the listener’s innate abilities and learned behaviors
- the environment
- the sender’s ability to formulate and articulate messages which accurately describe their thoughts and feelings
Here are 8 action steps to minimize the difficulties posed by these. In addition to the steps there has to be a commitment to be a better listener. It’s a lot tougher than you think; yet, it’ll be far more rewarding than you can imagine.
Take Charge of Your Listening Abilities
Of the three variables, we have the most control over our listening abilities. This includes thinking speed, concentration skills, attitudes and learned behaviors. Most people speak at 150 – 200 words per minute. Most people think at 800 – 1500 words per minute. Even the slowest thinker has excess capacity when listening to the fastest talker. This means it is easy to think about or do other things when listening. We fancy ourselves as “multi-tasking” machines. Listening is more challenging than we give it credit for. This is especially true if you find the subject matter boring; you’re tired or distracted; or the environment is rich with sights, sounds, activities, etc. competing for your attention.
The mental aspects of listening
There are several things do to prior to a sales interview to ready yourself to listen.
Step #1. Clear your head of competing thoughts. Relax, take a couple of deep breaths. Commit yourself to listen intently. Within fifteen seconds of a conversation your mind will start to wander. Stay focused. Salespeople have the tendency to think about what they want to say, instead of listening to what the customer has to say. Have confidence that when its your time to talk you’ll have the right things to say. You increase the appropriateness of your responses by listening. It helps you to target your responses. You may want to take notes; it helps you focus and provides a record.
Step # 2. Have a “Listening Plan”. As you approach a sales interview you typically have a plan for what you would like to say. You also need a game plan for what you want to learn. Without having goals for listening you will shortcut the process. This will addressed more in the newsletter on “Probing” (applied listening).
The physical aspect of listening
Step # 3. Use a good listening posture. Maintain occasional eye contact but continually focus on the sender. Stand or sit straight. If sitting, sometimes it helps to lean toward the sender. It sends the message that you are deeply interested in what they have to say. Often times your body language alone can impact what and how much a talker will share. Look and act interested.
Step # 4. Use silence. Keep you lips sealed. It’s pretty hard to be an effective listener when your lips are constantly moving.
Roadblocks
Step # 5. Stop using “Roadblocks”. By the time we reach adulthood, we have often adopted poor habits and/or attitudes that actually “roadblock” communication. (Practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent. e.g., has your penmanship improved or declined since grammar school? The same is probably true with your listening) Roadblocks are often learned behaviors. We are exposed to them growing up. They include such things as:
- “cheering-up” a disheartened friend,
- offering unsolicited advise
- solving problems prematurely
- “rescuing” others by taking ownership of their problems
- playing “one-upmanship”
Although these are generally legitimate attempts to be helpful, in many cases they backfire. Instead of promoting deeper communication they often shut it down. (Customers are particularly offended when salespeople use roadblocks # 2, 3, or 4.) In all of the examples above you are no longer listening. Instead you are responding. What roadblocks are you guilty of?
Perhaps we haven’t listened enough to find the real message. Or, perhaps we are uncomfortable with the message and hope to evade it. Has any one ever said to you, “You’re not listening to me!”? The point is we have learned behaviors that aren’t as helpful as we thought they are. Here are some alternatives.
Communication encouragers
Step # 6. Acknowledge and encourage. Instead of responding with help, advice, cheer, etc., it may be more appropriate to seek further clarification. This is done with “door openers”. A door opener seeks additional information from the sender. It includes things like; “I’d like to hear more about that.” “Really? Than what happened?” “Tell me more.”, etc. It tells the talker to provide additional information.
Be careful about drawing premature conclusions or assuming you know what someone means. Because our minds work so quickly, sometimes it is tempting to jump ahead. Sometimes we think we see a familiar pattern emerging; be cautious. As you draw conclusions check for accuracy. You’d be amazed how many times we can get caught in the trap, “I know you heard what I said but I don’t think you understand what I mean.” We’ll come back to this.
“Communication Friendly” Environments
Some environments are more conducive to listening/communication than others. Generally the less competing stimuli the better. This includes visual as well as auditory stimuli. Even temperature can have adverse affects on communication. Environments that are too hot or too cold can be very distracting.
Give thought to where the sales interview is likely to occur. Exam rooms and offices are often ideal environments. Busy treatment rooms, lobbies, surgical suites, noisy restaurants, etc., are less ideal. What is distracting for you will probably be distracting to the other party. This is especially important if they will be expected to listen to your message. They may not be as committed or skillful at listening as you.
Engineering your environment
Step # 7. Take steps to get into an environment conducive to good communication. Ask to go to an office or exam room if one is available. Try to set appointments at times that are less busy or take your customer to a quiet restaurant. Ask to make farm calls together so you can have some quiet time in a vehicle together. The key is to ask for what you need. If forced to listen in a poor environment concentrate and focus on what is being said.
Help the “Talker” Send Accurate Messages
When a rocket is sent to the moon, it is “off course” more often than on course. A “feedback loop” is established with ground control to monitor its course and provide gentle “redirection”. This two-way communication ensures the rocket ends up where it was intended. The same is true with communication. People sometimes launch messages that land “off course.” Sometimes they don’t mean what they say; or, have difficulty finding the right words to describe what they are thinking and/or feeling. They often need a little “feedback” to ensure the message they wish to send is the one that is received. This is where a good listener is indispensable.
Feedback understanding
Step # 8. Active Listen. As you receive messages occasionally “check-in” with the sender. Tell them what you understand of their message. Restate the gist of what they are communicating. This should include both what was spoken and what was implied through their tone of voice and body language. Often the unspoken message is more accurate than the spoken message. This occasional feedback lets the sender reformulate their message if your impression is different from what they are trying to express. The goal is for the “picture” of the message to be the same for the listener as it is with the sender.
When people are listened to, accepted and understood they feel good about themselves and the person doing the listening. We like people who listen to us. We buy from people we like.
Above all, selling is a function of listening. The steps described above will be necessary when building rapport, uncovering needs, handling objections and listening to upset customers. It is a universal skill that can be used in almost all situations with almost everybody to produce good outcomes. I hope you profit from these ideas. Good Selling!
